Watched over

So I'm pretty aware these days that my heavenly father is aware of me and has a plan for me and I just gotta listen and go along. I am not visiting the public school by our house until Monday but I have a strong feeling that is where my little boys should go. Now if I walk in there Monday and they don't have any openings I will be very confused but wouldn't they have told me that over phone or email if they were full? It seems that you get dibs on the school closest to your house but there are only so many places so it's not guaranteed. When they called me back the other day and told me when I could come visit I just cried as soon as I hung up. It's funny that a couple of friends told me they might be better off in the public school and one of them lived here years ago and that's what she did. My logic couldn't believe that though. Surely a nice expensive school would have more to offer, why else would people pay to go there. I do think the public schools here are better than in the states, especially UT. No offense UT. But they also have different priorities. They are very heavy into language arts here. Lots of writing. They are kind of weak in Math. I have heard several parents complain that their kids loved math and were bored to tears because they don't really do advanced stuff till university. It will be a big adjustment for my kids. I hope their teachers are kind and patient.

So I liked Cheltenham College but I didn't get any kind of feeling like that's where they should be. I loved the admissions secretary so much. She was so kind and repaired my wounded soul. Avery and Tristan scored too low on the entrance exams to go there. They are one of the top schools in England. I was glad. It didn't really feel right and it made my choice easier. However, she told me it was purely based on their academic standards and that she would gladly give them a recommendation to any other school and she recommended a couple to check out. She said she fell in love with Avery that day and that they both were very good and worked hard. She said she knew they were very bright and that they will eventually catch up. It was the sort of things I needed to hear. Maybe that's what I went there for. Now I can dislike the one headmaster instead of all. I couldn't really see my boys at that school anyway. It's a bit too much school for me. They need to be home with their family instead of at school long hours.

Several of my friends here told me not to worry, it's just primary school and what matters most is that they are happy. I believe that too. Several people also said not to worry too much because what is meant to be will be. I believe that too. It just would have been nice if I had known this before I came. I guess I was supposed to go through all of this drama too. Or maybe I made decisions too logically and didn't pray enough about it before. Whatever the reason, I feel better now. I feel at peace inside and feel like this will work out. Now Glenfall better have room for my boys or I'm gonna feel like Mary and Joseph with no room at the inn and wonder what to do with my boys because I can not home school. My kids will not do work for me like at school.

One funny thing about the admissions testing is that they were very concerned about Avery's handwriting. She said he needed to put a gripper on his pencil and practice holding it correctly. I told her I have tried but he wants to do it his way and I told her they don't really teach handwriting in the US anymore and she was shocked.

Cory also came home from work with some good news. Right now and through the Olympics he is just doing administrative stuff but he had a meeting to discuss his work objectives and they are going to have him work and collaborate with all the groups there that work his language. So that means he will end up doing what he did back home and actually building new relationships and expanding on what he has been doing at home and he will get his language pay back. He also wants to continue to work on the technical side like the computer program he wrote and such. I am very happy for him. If that works out he may start something new here like he helped to build at home. I was worried he would not be happy just servicing accounts and such. The guy that will be his supervisor actually lives near our house. He is a runner. He just attempted a 100 miler but stopped at 87 because he felt the conditions were dangerous. Maybe he can find a better one to do.

I feel so blessed even though it's been kind of a tough time. Change just works that way. I know we are supposed to be here and I know I can do what is required of me, even if I worry so much it's hard to eat and sleep some days. Could I lose a few pounds from this trial? That would be nice;)

We are enjoying the pool, tennis court, and game room here. It would be better if one of the larger units had been available. They don't have hand towels or wash cloths or flat sheets here. I guess those are not British things. The mattress and cushions on the couch are so worn and flat it's like they don't exist. Our mattress is especially flat on Cory's side so it's like we are sleeping on a wedge about to roll off. Just a few more days then I will be in heaven sleeping on my own bed again.

Aiden seems to be taking more of an interest in playing sports. He has played cricket and football with the young men and enjoyed it and he even made Cory play tennis with him a few times. Maybe he is maturing and finally wants to do something other than play with toys.

Today

Today I feel OK. We liked our visit at Cheltenham Junior College yesterday. It went more in the way I expect it should. We met the deputy headmaster who will be acting headmaster next year. He was very nice and gaves us his sales pitch about the school like he should. He is a linguist like Cory. He attended Cheltenham College when he was a kid and worked there as a sports equipment flunky the year between high school and university and now twenty years later quite a better position. He has some humility. He was nice and had toys in his office. The boys played with Legos while we talked. He complimented them for picking up when we were done. The admissions secretary gave us a tour. She was very nice and understanding. She could not believe what happened at St Edwards and I didnt even give her details. All of the teachers we met were very nice and the classes only have 12 or 13 kids each. I liked the way the classrooms were set up. I was wrong to think a boarding school would not have a good atmosphere. They treat each other like a big family. I have no complaints other than I will have to drive them but it's only two miles and Lidia and Aiden's school is on the way and they could catch a bus from Lidia and Aiden's school to theirs. The private schools share a coach bus. Tristan and Avery are at the school right now taking placement exams. After they are graded we will determine how to proceed. We visit the public school Monday morning. My car is acting up. I'm going to have to take it back to B'ham and have them fix it. Hopefully they can get me in next week and maybe they will give me a car to drive while they are working on mine. I called to schedule Internet and phone hookup yesterday, should have last week. They said it won't be switched until the 13th so I may not have it for our first week unless the owners line still works. Avery is counting down the days until we move in and get our things. Poor kid didn't know what he was getting into when we came here. He tells everyone that he is from Utah.

Goodbye horrible man

I decided today for sure, not to send Avery or Tristan to St Eds Jr and told the headmaster that I could never put my children in the care of such a snob and unChristlike person. I felt great relief. I also made appointments to visit Cheltenham College Junior school tomorrow morning and Glenfall Primary Monday morning. Cheltenham College is next to church two miles away from our house and a highly slaughter after private school. I'm a little nervous given our last experience. Glenfall is one fifth of a mile from our house and has a very good reputation for a public school. It will be interesting to see the difference between the two. Honestly, I'm leaning a bit toward the public school. It's very nice to have your children in school so close to home. They even get an hour for lunch and may come home for lunch if you give permission. It is a smaller school with only one class per grade. However, there are 26 pupils vs the private 16. But, each teacher has three assistants in the public school. I'm not sure exactly how it is at the private. Public schools also allow parent volunteers whereas the private don't much. The public school has to follow equal opportunity laws, I'm guessing private don't. The real question will be whether or not the private really does provide a better education with all that money they get and does the school provide a loving atmosphere. So tomorrow we shall see if this private school can convince me and on Monday if the public school is as good as it sounds. I hope the public school has openings. I assume they do or they wouldn't have me come in. I feel scared now to tell anyone anything about my children for fear of judgement. I am not sharing anything unless forced to do so unless I feel it needs to be shared. They ask if your child received services at their previous school and the truth is no for the younger two. My nerves are not going to feel well until I get this sorted out hopefully next week. Lidia and Aiden will attend St Eds Sr school since they seem happy and I have no complaints there. There is a part of me that doesn't want to go through with this tour and admission exams tomorrow. But I have to be informed and know what my options were and that I made the right choice and not wander what if I had sent them to the other school. My gut is telling me that Glenfall will be a good place. After I left St Edwards last week I thought I should drive around the area I will be living in and get familiar. While doing so I noticed the primary school. I did not see it before. Then I heard that it was a great school and it was a highly saught after area to live in because of the schools. Then I thought about how strange it was that this was the only suitable house available. We really didn't have much choice unless we wanted to live in a house half the size. I've also reminded myself of the lesson I have learned being a mom, that nothing is more important that your family and the gospel. If you do right by those two the rest will work itself out. I know my heavenly father is looking out for me and has a plan for me. It's too bad that we have to suffer through some drama sometimes before we know what to do but I know that even the rough spots have a purpose. Hey, it's probably helped this time in temporary housing go by faster. Hee hee

Lidia's orthodontist appointment went well and it turns out I randomly chose the good one. Well I researched a little online but no one I knew here had kids in braces but now I'm hearing about some who do and they go there. The orthodontist seemed to know her stuff and the price is better here. It's usually 1900 pounds but since she's a third done they will cut a third off the price. Utah made me pay about half of the total bill there before I left. She told me to get my kids into a dentist and if they think ortho is needed NHS may cover some of the cost.

I am getting the hang of driving around here. I don't usually go over 30 mph since we live in town but I am fine with it. I actually like the roundabouts instead of useless stopping. Road rules here are more of a guideline, they don't pull people over and give tickets but you could get one in the mail from a camera. I occasionally find myself in the wrong turn lane and have to get over but drivers seem pretty patient here. There is one road that has bars that come down for the trains and it happens for a couple of minutes every fifteen minutes. I would hate to live in the houses there but people stop and turn off their cars and even let their kids get out and watch the train go by.

It is funny that that headmaster seemed so strict, I am curious if others are. I have not observed British children to be any better behaved than American ones. In fact our little primary at church is very noisy. I am in charge of sharing time for July. Wish me luck. Perhaps the grown ups won't think me too crazy with my antics trying to keep all of the childrens' attention.

I must say that these happenings have greatly wounded my heart in defense of my sweet Avery. Being his mom is like seeing into heaven. He is the kindest most genuine child I have ever known. He has a real love for all people. It's sad that some can't see his heart of gold. Those things that may seem to others as quirky are the things I cherish so much.

Rough times

So I am having a rough time right now. It seems that when I took Tristan and Avery to the junior school on Thursday, I thought it was for a tour just like the nice one we had previously at the senior school. Well to the headmaster it was an interview. I was not prepared nor had I prepared the boys for an interview. If it were an interview I would have researched what was expected first and how these things usually go and had Cory come with us. All of the other American families that I know here did not go through an interview. They just enrolled their kids. However, this is a new headmaster and I guess he is doing things differently and I was caught off guard.

When we arrived we were asked to come in the headmaster's office and have a seat. We did so but the boys were a little excited and so they were a bit chatty and restless but not misbehaving at all. The headmaster obviously expects a certain behavior from his students and he was upset and yelled at us saying he will not have this, he is the headmaster and you will show respect, etc etc and he said he was leaving the room and not coming back until they were respectful. So when he came back the boys were terrified and sat quiet and still. Tristan knew he meant business and listened and Avery tried but he scared him and he was a little upset and the headmaster was talking to me about all of my children and asking if they have ever had issues etc and I don't think that's the sort of thing you discuss in front of children and it also bores them. The boys wanted to walk around and see the school not sit and listen to grown up talk. Avery sat still by me but was starting to get a little whiny. We finally toured the school and it seemed like a good school. Everyone seemed nice and I like the smaller class sizes and it seems they do a lot of hands on learning which is great. The headmaster was watching Avery though and it seemed as if he were looking for something wrong with him. Avery tried to tell him something a couple of times and the headmaster didn't get Avery's humor or understand what he meant. The headmaster said that it looked like Avery was twitching his hand a lot and asked me if I noticed it. I said no. Avery does have hypermobile joints in his hands like many people and pops his thumb in and out a lot just like I crack my knuckles and neck a lot. There is nothing strange about that. The headmaster also asked a lot about Aiden and insinuated that he had heard that he had issues. As a matter of fact he asked me more about Aiden than Avery. I thought maybe he was mixing them up or something because one child's struggles have nothing to do with the other. Avery's personality is very different than Aiden's. He is very outgoing whereas Aiden is very shy. The headmaster kept saying that he was not sure they could offer Avery the resources he needs at his school. However, when we ask what it is that he thinks he needs that they can't offer he can't answer that question. Avery does well in school and has good behavior as well. He is also only a first grader going into second. Even though he and Tristan are the same size, Tristan is three years ahead of him and therefore more mature. When we were leaving Avery went in the school chapel to have a look but I told him to come back out and he did. He did not know it was the chapel. It does not look like our church chapel and his school at home does not have a chapel. This offended the headmaster apparently as did other things I guess that I am not aware of. The children were not at all disrespectful the entire time because anything he took offense to were things that we were not aware could cause offense. A school that prides itself in accepting children from all cultures should be aware of this and more understanding. A child can not obey a rule they have not been taught. Before we left the headmaster said he could not consider Avery for admission without an evaluation from an educational psychologist. I told him that I would look into that and give him copies of the reports I have from testing that had been done back home in the states. I was told to bring Avery and Tristan for a taster day on Tuesday.

Friday I brought the papers I have for them to copy and chatted with Mrs Williams and she told me how Avery's teacher was very nice and has three sons like I do. I asked her how taster day would work so I could prepare the boys. Later that day the headmaster emailed me and told me that I could not even bring Avery to a taster day without an evaluation. I guess the papers I gave him raise more questions than answers and he wants something more in depth. I think I also need to get Avery's first grade teacher to write something to send to the school as a reference. He has never needed any services at school even after evaluations that I had done privately and at the school. His auditory processing disorder is what makes it hard for him to find the right words at times and so his language can be rather concrete but he can definitely get his point across and will let you know if he did not understand you so you can be explicit. This just requires a little understanding and patience, not special education. I don't know if work will pay for it or not but I made an appointment for full testing with an educational psychologist here. She seems very nice and good at her profession. She does not have an opening until 25 July so it's a bit of a wait before we can move forward and figure out what we are doing. I looked into some other private schools but they don't have openings for all four kids and you can't really split them up because they work differently. Going to school six days a week is not an option for our family. The public school calendar is very close to St Edwards and Glenfall Primary School is right across the street from our house but I don't know if they have an opening and I hate to take a spot from a local that can't afford private school when I have the resources to go private. Besides, how in the world could a public school with 26 pupils per class, government regulations and limited resources better provide for Avery than a private school with more resources, less regulation and only 16 pupils per class and tutors available as needed? If St Edwards Junior thinks that Avery would be better off at a public school than their own, that would suggest that all of the parents are wasting their money and should just send their children to a public school. Cory went to meet the headmaster on Monday. Mr. McKernan was not nice. He told Cory that he has every right to refuse whoever he wants and that it had nothing to do with academics but he did not like Avery's personality. He said Avery is disrespectful and too quirky. I suppose we have offended Mr. McKernan a great deal but we did not mean to. Everyone else has been so great to us since we moved here. I just don't know how one can run a junior school and lack understanding of a first grader in his situation. Avery has been such a good boy especially during this transition which is hard on all of us. We have been living in temporary housing for seven weeks now. Avery is starting to say that all of his toys have been lost and we have to reassure him that they are on their way on the moving truck and that we will move into the house and get all of our things back. He has not been through this before. The last time we moved was when he was two so he doesn't remember.

So I guess right now I am waiting to see what is going to happen after this evaluation is complete. I find these evaluations very interesting and helpful in gaining an insight into how your child learns even if there is not an issue to address so I have no problem having it done. I just wish I had the childrens' schooling finalized so that I can best know what I need to do next. It would be great if work provided you with a professional liaison to help you with all of these transitions moving to a new country but they do not. You just talk to other people who have done it before and believe me I have asked them so many questions and continue to do so but I still sometimes struggle figuring out how things work here. It is unfortunate but we have to figure it out on our own and learn through trial and error. Things have gone pretty well till now though. I am just a bit unlucky that I was told things would be like they were with the old headmaster and so that's what I expected. I read everything on the website, every policy, ethos etc but what happened was not in line with that. I think that some things on the web site need to be changed if the new headmaster is going to do things differently. I hope this can be resolved and we can move forward. I am really praying and searching for the best answer here.

I also would like to put Avery in year two instead of year three. I feel that since kids in the states start a year later than kids here that their maturity and education background in school are more important than age. It would be better to be ahead for your year than struggling to catch up.

Hello

The kids have enjoyed playing with the rockets and bows I bought.

Some pics didn't load right, the kids loved playing and hiding in this tall grass.

The kids had fun in the strong wind.

Tristan decided to take a rest.

part of the wall that surrounded the ancient city before it was known as Salisbury

Salisbury cathedral, tallest spire in UK

I would love a nice yard surrounded by cloisters like this.

Too bad my house here won't be as lovely as these.

Lacock Abbey

parts of Harry Potter filmed here, I'll have to watch again to see which scenes, or look it up online

Lacock Village is used to film lots of things like HP, and the BBC Pride and Predjudice

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this is downtown in the shopping promenade

cory putting his money in a UK wallet

more Avebury pics, this path shows the chalk soil, there are lots of white chalk horses on the hills in this area

Aiden showing off finishing a full rack of ribs

me and Lidia scaring Cory when we walked in from a church jubilee activity

Jamie Oliver's restaurant is in a cool old building that used to be the courthouse

It's the crapper

took the kids to a fun play place one rainy day

Nando's is a restaurant I actually liked

We are getting on well here and trying to get out and do some things. Well, not really today though. Today I am finishing up laundry and starting to pack because we are moving to a different place Friday. We have lots of stuff strewn all over this place. It takes a while to do laundry here since the machines are smaller and the dryer, or tumbler, works differently. It takes about 45 min to wash but over two hours to dry. That may not be a lot longer than at home but the loads are like half the size.

Last night we ate dinner at another pub, didn't like it either. English food is gross. One day I'll stop trying it. The good restaurants, not english or indian, are all down town where parking is a hassle and you have to pay to park and then still walk. I don't think we will be eating out a lot once we are on our own dime. It's expensive and a hassle. Subway will still get my business. I just park on the street in front of it if there is room and run in and get my food. It's too bad I am not a big fan of Indian food because it is everywhere here. I don't hate it but I don't really love it either. I never crave it like mexican or chinese.

Yesterday, Lidia and Aiden went to school and had fun. They said they had a good time and look forward to going there in the fall. Aiden also said the boys use a lot of swear words. You just can't get away from some things. If that's the worst thing going on I'll be glad. The school cafeteria has a variety of food and you just get what you want and take it to the cashier and pay. They can go there when they have a break also. I gave Aiden ten pounds because I didn't want him to be hungry and I don't know exactly how much things cost. Well he spent almost all of it. They had a morning break and he ate a ham and cheese muffin and a donut and something else I don't recall and then at lunch he ate chicken, potatoes, veggies, juice etc. He ate a whole rack of ribs by himself at TGIFridays the other day. I fear a growth spurt but this is not a good time for one since I just bought school uniforms. Lidia bought a smoothie and egg salad sandwich and only spent three pounds. They will have to pack lunch at least half the time or we may go broke. hee hee After school they went home with the Nobles and watched a movie. The Nobles have three daughters that go to school with them and they go to church with us. They are very nice and funny. Their dad was one of the RA's when Cory was a freshman at BYU. We met them when we were living in MD too. They were in the other ward that also met in our building. Their youngest daughter, Abish will be in Aiden's year as well as another girl from church Ashley. Tabitha and Hannah will be junior and senior in the fall. They are nice and try to look out for the younger kids they know. The school is kind of small so everyone gets to know each other. We don't really know any boys that go to the senior school so Aiden might have to work a little harder to make friends at school. The kids were nice to him yesterday though and he enjoyed playing tennis at PE. He also went to tech club during lunch and made something. Aiden shadowed a local boy named Tom and Lidia shadowed an American girl that's about to move back to MD named Hannah. Hannah had rounders practice during lunch break and Lidia just watched. She said it's like baseball for wimps. lol

I am taking Tristan and Avery to tour their school Thursday and they may shadow one day next week. Tristan wants to be in his friend Tyler's class so we will probably arrange that. Tyler is in his class at church. They moved here from Maryland about seven months ago and it turns out they were in the same ward as my friend Bonnie who is stationed in Germany right now. Small world! There is also a little girl from church in their year and her little brother is a year behind Avery. Avery likes everyone so I'm not worried about him making friends at school. Once he learns the rules and routine he should be fine. He tries to talk like the people here sometimes and it comes out funny. Once they are in school they may pick it up without trying. Seems like the older kids here don't really pick it up like the younger ones do.

On Saturday we went on outings with the Cheney family who are here for the summer. Roger worked with Cory in Utah. They live south of us and work in that office but Cory knew him from going down there. Jen and their five kids came out for the summer too and they are trying to make the most of the days he's not at work and see some sights. We all went to Avebury stone circle which is larger than Stonehenge and you can just run around and explore. It was fun. Then we went to Stonehenge which is cool but always crowded and it's roped off. However you can arrange to go in the circle if you pay and have a guide. There are druid groups that go in and chant and do black magic and such. They were there this time so everyone's pictures have them in it. After that we drove down to Salisbury cathedral which was really pretty and has one of the original copies of the magna carta. We saw it and it's crazy to think about how old it is as well as lots of other things here. Salisbury is a pretty and historic town as well. I could spend some time strolling the streets there but not with kids in tow. Gotta keep moving to keep them busy and out of trouble. On our way back home we stopped by Lacock Abbey and village and then drove through Castle Combe. Both are very cute places although not as exciting for the kids and the weather was taking a turn for the worse. It was very windy all day but when the rain came along too it began to be a bit much. We didn't get home until about eight. It was a fun busy day and the gps led us all around. I would get so lost without it. Cory drove and did a good job even though I'm constantly moaning as we have to squeeze between other cars on these tiny crowded roads. All of the kids were pretty good. One of Jen's little girls did barf in the car on the way to our first stop but she was a trooper as were her parents. You can surely get car sick on these windy little roads. We are all heading to Warwick castle Saturday. Should be a fun outing for Tristan's birthday.

We saw a fox walk right by the door to our cottage Sunday and I saw one when I was driving through town the other day. It was evening but not dark both times. The days are super long here right now. It's not dark until 11 but the sun is up before 4. We better enjoy it because the flipside of that is super short days in the winter. The jay birds here are pretty. We have seen one out our window. There are also lots of doves, pigeons, magpies, and crows here.

Cory is Sunday school president now and I'm first counselor in Primary. I have to do sharing times in July. The ward here is small so everyone has to work. I wish they had sacrament first but they are too worried about attendance to do that. Our building was built in 1960. It's kind of small but works. Members of the church in Utah are so spoiled compared to everywhere else. The ward seems to do a lot together and the stake too. There is a real sense of family amongst members and they are very nice and welcoming to us Americans. People as a whole here have been very pleasant so far. They get a lot of foreigners here due to GCHQ. There is an LDS fun run on the coast of Wales on July 28 at Pembrey Park. I think we will go even though it's Aiden's birthday. We'll take him to Legoland 4th of July instead of on his day.

I think Avery loves it here. The mild weather suits him. He is outside all of the time. He gets bored of tv unlike his older siblings. It's so cute to watch him running around with a stick and just imagining loads of fun things. He loves to smell the flowers and he occasionally picks them and gives them to ladies. He loves to walk around Maureen's garden boxes and to see what she's growing. He also goes out on the balcony if it's raining or just puts on his wellies and grabs an umbrella and heads outside anyway. It's in the sixties here a lot lately and it's about perfect when the sun is out too. I think I'll take them all out for a walk today. It's nice and sunny.

The thing that may be the biggest pain while here is money. We get paid in dollars but live in pounds. We still use American banking and have to move money around a lot and pay to exchange money and such. It's annoying. I'm gonna have to really stay on top of book keeping. Shopping online will be even bigger here for us. On the kids birthdays we will be going to amazon.com instead of to the local toy shop.

Oh and Happy Father's Day! Ours was uneventful. Sorry. Things just are not the same when you are living in limbo. We did tell Cory happy father's day and give him some special dad chocolates. Tristan and Avery sang with the primary at church. Well, Tristan sang and Avery grinned and made crazy motions with his arms. We did call our dads and talk to them, that's always nice.